The Lakehouse Gathering

It’s been a bit, hasn’t it? Life happens sometimes, and it makes for a really great blog post. Today, I asked my cards for a topic, and first it gave me the same card as my last post about family, 10 Pentacles. I kindly reminded my deck that while family is important to me, I’m not repeating cards yet. My deck then gave me 5 cups to write about instead.

Let’s take a good look at this card. We see storm clouds and rain, a man full of sorrow or regret, and a bunch of broken cups. This man is so focused on all he’s lost that he fails to see the clearing skies and the beautiful sunrise behind him.

Thinking here about the message my deck sent me, I see a clear picture. With all the heavy stuff going on in our lives, it’s so easy to get lost in the ruins. You can become so focused on all that went wrong that you miss out on opportunities for good things to enter your life.

I lost my middle son, Brandon, unexpectedly this past December. Many close family members were unable to attend his memorial and never had the chance to say goodbye. We just had a large family gathering for a week in a gorgeous lake house. Three generations, 21 people, laughing, eating, drinking and sharing memories. We decided one night we would dedicate to remembering Brandon.

We began the day walking, running, and bike riding a virtual race that supported sloths. I had ordered medals but they never arrived—everyone will need to do their own medal ceremony later. It was a lot of fun, and though Brandon hated running, he would have loved the trail we chose. It had stormed the previous day, and was supposed to rain all morning. Just like this tarot card, the sky cleared, and instead of focusing on loss, we embraced the opportunity to share the time together.

After the run we went and had ice cream. There’s not much better in life than eating delicious ice cream with scoops the size of your fist on a hot day after a run. We laughed at the big scoops and how it melted all over everyone’s hands, and the ring it left around everyone’s lips....even the adults. Most of us had trouble finishing our single scoop...except Robby, who enjoyed TWO scoops of frozen heaven. I’m serious, this ice cream was amazing! I’m still thinking about it.

Later that day we gathered in the kitchen, putting together a Mexican food feast. All of Brandons favorites were there, even the tequila in drinks made by Moe. Sharing memories over tacos, lots of laughs and some tears, and I could imagine Brandon joining us, his plate loaded up and his glass full. I could see his amazing smile and heard his laugh, he was there.

Then we gathered on the deck, counting fireflies, swatting mosquitos, to share wish papers. This is a kit I bought off amazon. You write your wish—in this case a message to Brandon—and you light it on fire. It burns quickly to ash that catches the breeze and gently flies away, taking your message with it. This was sort of somber, and there were tears, but it was important closure for those that couldn’t attend his memorial. My mom then presented all of us with Brandon Early Warning Systems (wind chimes) with his name on them. They are beautiful. And looking at the faces of my family, wet with tears but so full of love, I knew that I was no longer the man kneeling in the rubble, I was looking at the sunrise. I felt Brandon whisper “it’s too sad mom, turn it around...for me”

We broke out two decks of cards and gathered 15 spoons, and 16 of us sat around a table to begin a cut throat game of SPOONS. Some of the little ones had never played, and some of the older ones had to dust off some memories, but laughter returned. Once again the love burned bright and hot as we sipped our hot chocolate and pretended to grab spoons. I felt Brandon as a warm hug that passed through all of us, and I saw him in the fireflies that landed on us.

The week was full of fun family times, and leaving everyone was tough. My sisters and I spent late nights chatting, and I miss them. We discovered new gifts and talents and formed even deeper connections. Our children spent time bonding as cousins do in the summer sun and cool lake waters. The husbands, chatting over beer, each one of them a perfect match for the sister they chose, learned more about each other and how similar they actually are. The family card, 10 pentacles, richness of family, played out in real life. I am blessed.

My deck, Anna K Tarot, wanted me to remember that family is the core of what I needed to write about. But she also wanted me to reflect on my journey and acknowledge how far I’ve come. There was a tremendous loss that I’m still grieving, and will probably grieve forever. Brandon was a huge piece of me, of my husband, of his brothers, his aunts, his gramma...none of us will ever really fill that hole. The card is a reminder of how much I could potentially miss out on if I get too consumed by that loss, where it captures all of my focus. I need to remember to look for the sunrise, look for the clearing skies and blooming flowers; to embrace Hope.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀☀️☀️

What will your cards say? Message me for a reading or comment on this blog.